Friday, September 4, 2009

I'm going to blame my lack of blogging on the fact that my hubby has been home for two weeks. And it has been the best two weeks. No it's not paid time off, nor is it vacation. Unfortunately, he's been on a two week layoff and there are still two more weeks yet to come later this year. Fortunately, it's not a permanent layoff. While it may not exactly be great for the wallet, it has been so wonderful for us. I love having him home. Morgan Kate loves having home. And the dogs love having him home. We have had some really nice relaxing days, coming and going as we please. Typically he puts MK down for bed and I am up with her in the mornings. However, for the past two weeks I have been putting her down which gives me some great snuggle time and he has been getting up with her. He loves the mornings with her and I love any chance to sleep in a little. And I love the eggs and bacon he likes to cook. I am absolutely dreading next week when he has to return to work. Don't get me wrong - I am thankful he has a job, very thankful! But I do love having all my family at home.

I have been wanting to blog about Morgan Kate's therapy for quite some time, but just haven't found the right words. I still don't know if I have the exact ones I want to use, but it's something I want to write about.

MK has been receiving early intervention services since February. We have been very pleased with all her therapy and therapists and we still are. I know that this intervention is crucial and very much needed. I know that plenty of children and adults receive therapy in some sort or fashion. I am was am a teacher and I have sat in on numerous IEP meetings and either helped or requested that a child receive certain services. I guess I just never thought or even imagined that my own child might need those very same services one day. It's not that I am embarrassed or ashamed or disappointed BY. ANY. MEANS. I am so proud of Morgan Kate. I am so proud to be her mommy and to call her my daughter. In just her one short year she has done and accomplished so many extraordinary things. She has been through and conquered more in her little life than I will ever do. She is simply amazing.

It's just that I hate seeing her struggle. I don't want her to struggle. I don't want her to have any delays. I don't want anything to be hard for her. Hopefully, these are normal mommy feelings. And while I don't want anything to be hard, or anyone to hurt her feelings or break her heart, I know it's inevitable. I know some of these things are going to occur and maybe more than I like.

Back in February we only had an appointment once a week. The appointment was with our early interventionist and it lasted for an hour. I was okay with this. Perfectly content. Matter of fact, I was thrilled that MK was receiving these services. She's a preemie. She was early. This was something she needed. Then in April we added physical therapy. Two appointments a week. No problem. Again, I was okay with this. Late May, early June we added occupational therapy. Three appointments a week. This was a little harder to take. I can't really explain why this was harder. I guess it just felt like she was needing more and more. And I was hoping that she would need less and less.

Last week we had her six month assessment (since we have been receiving services for 6 months). There were so many areas where she had improved drastically. She had even met all of the goals we first set. In several areas she was right on track for her age. All of these were cause for celebration. She has made leaps and bounds in her progress. But then there were other areas where there were delays. Of course there are delays in gross motor (crawling, walking, etc.) and some in fine motor (turning the page of a book, poking at things, etc.). I knew these things and expected them. And I also know that these things are going to come. She's going to do them. But there were new delays. Delays that we didn't see in the beginning. Well, it's not that we didn't see them in the beginning, it's that we weren't looking for them or "testing" them. One specific delay being communication. MK makes noises and kinda sorta babbles, but she doesn't make any consonant sounds and she doesn't say any words. The delay was enough for her to qualify for a speech evaluation. If the speech therapist conducting the evaluation sees or finds the same delays then she will qualify for yet another therapy. Four appointments a week. Again, I am glad that these services are available and that MK can begin receiving them so early. But it was a blow. The kind of blow that makes knots in your stomach. I. JUST. DON'T. WANT. ANYTHING. TO. BE. HARD. FOR. HER. Plain and simple.

So while some of this is hard to accept. And some of this makes knots in my stomach. And some of it breaks my heart. I know it is something that we need. Something that we must do. And in the next six months we will look back and see that she has accomplished the new goals we have set and she will again have made tremendous progress. And that's the part that makes this all a little easier.


Heather said...

Oh Heather, I am so sorry you are having togo through this. I am very impressed with how much Morgan Kate has accomplised. She will be a new baby in 6 months.

I do agree with you though. It is a normal mommy thing to not want your child to suffer, struggle or need the therapies. MK is a blessing and will be caught up in no time. I have faith.

If you haven't visited their blog, you should. These little preemie twins were born at 23-24 weeks and their story is amazing. I have even become pretty good blog friends with their mom.

Anonymous said...

Every child is different and their needs are different. As a parent, you just try to do your best to meet their needs --the best way you can.
I'm thankful she qualifies for "early
therapies" and thankful that you have great insurance to cover their costs and thankful you've been able to be at home with her for the first year or two of her life. She is happy and healthy and a beloved child of God and her extended family. We have much to give thanks for and the rest will come in time. Fear not because God knows his plan for all of us --it just takes us time to realize what his plan is for each of us.
As for dealing with the public - this new song says it all "God is Great, Beer is Good and People are Crazy."
Hang in there kido ---being a MOM
is never easy --you will always want life to be easy and not hard or cruel or anything unpleasant for your child---even when they are a grown-up and have children of their own...
Love Ya, Aunt Rhonda

jan kessler said...

Heather, I just want to extend my arms through the computer and put them around you and Travis and let you know it will come. People thought MK would not make it this far but she is a strong little girl and God is an Awesome God and He is still in the miracle business. He has special plans for Morgan Kate. Just like Aunt Rhonda said you always want the best for your children and shelter them from any hurt feelings and help them learn even when they get grown. Every individual person/child learns differently and Morgan Kate will learn her own special way and be where she needs to be in God's timing. God's timing is not always ours but it is the best timing. You and Travis be encouraged and know that you are fabulous parents. Love you guys.

Aunt J

Lorena Carrillo de Bianchi said...

Heather I know how you feel I had the same concerns regarding her communication skills and even thought there was a problem with her hearing but after ruling the hearing issue out I absolutely decide that I wouldn't worry about her delays anymore and I would just be patient and wait for her own timing...

I was not dissapointed, about a month and a half after that she started making more noises and even saying ma-ma-ma da-da-da-da... and so on! I know it's very hard not to worry but some times it helps to keep things as normal as possible.

Hang in there Heather, her timing is just around the corner!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Heather! Just stopped by your blog for the frist time in a while and wanted to tell you how proud I am of you! This has been a crazy year and I am amazed at what God has done and how you have handled it! 1 Peter 5:7

Love you!
Love, Maggie

Sherry Pyle said...

I think we always want things to be easy for our children because we ourslves know how hard stuggle is.
Yet, when we look back at our lives some of the struggles have helped us build character and others have no explanation. Those are the ones I struggle with. Yet, at the same time I know God is in control and somehow it will be OK. it might not be what I like but it will be OK.
Morgan Kate has shown how strong she is and I think she is well ready for any struggle she has.
She is a strong little girl. She has GREAT parents and a God who simply gave her to you. To all of us really.
Never even seeing her. I love her, I pray for her. She is just special to me.
As I watched my children grow up there were things I could hardly bear to see them endure and to see the affects it had on their lives and our whole family.
But, you know I am sure that God will help us and get us to where we need to be.
You have great faith and you really know you will get where you all need to be. Its just so hard to have many struggles.
It does wear on you.
Your feelings are so normal as a Mom, in fact you have proved many times over how wonderful you really are.
I always say rasing a child isn't for cowards!!
I am sure when you look back on each of these steps Morgan kate has taken you will look back and smile knowing you wouldn't have missed a one!!!
I believe God has a special plan for your little doll and it will be so wonderful to watch her claim it through the years.
God bless you. You have such a tendar loving heart.