Morgan Kate

Today Morgan Kate had to have a blood transfusion. Trav and I were both really nervous about this. Blood transfusion sounds so big and scary. I would prefer something like..."Morgan Kate needs a little blood, so we are just going to give her some this afternoon and everything will be fine." The doctors assure us that this is common with preemies and that having multiple transfusions is also common. She has lost some blood because of all the poking and prodding and she just isn't making it back fast enough. They started the transfusion around 2:00 and were finished by 5:00. It went really well and her color was already improving. She looked really good this morning, but was a little pale. Tonight she was beautiful shade of pink. Dr. Bendeck said that pink is definitely her color. 

After the transfusion this afternoon I got to start kangaroo care. I had never heard of this until I was admitted last week. In simple terms it is just skin to skin contact between mother and baby. The nurses simply put her on my chest so that she can feel my skin and hear my heartbeat. It was absolutely amazing! Holding her so close and for so long (I got to hold her for over an hour) was such a comfort. Her day nurse told me that kangaroo care is really good for preemies, but I think it's just as good for the mothers of preemies. Not being able to hold your baby is one of the most difficult things I have experienced. 

Travis has been at the hospital each night with Morgan Kate since last Sunday. I started staying with them Thursday night. We go non-stop all day at the hospital and then sleep there at night. The only downside is - we really aren't sleeping. A NICU is a very busy and very noisy place. There are lots of people coming and going and we were averaging about three hours of solid sleep a night. This morning we both could barely move. My eyes were bloodshot and stung just to hold them open. The nurses told us both that we needed to go home and rest. We came home around 9:30, ate breakfast and went to sleep. I woke up around 1:00, got dressed and headed back to the hospital with Mom, Daddy, and Kyle. I let Trav continue to sleep - he has been doing this hospital thing for almost two weeks now and it is getting the best of him. Tonight we are staying at our house and it is killing me. I feel like the worst mom ever. It broke me heart to leave here there and I cried the entire way home. I know that in order to take care of her I have to take care of myself, but thinking about myself at a time like this is very difficult to do. I am here now and can't think of anything except her. I'm heading to bed now just so it will be morning sooner and I can see her precious little face again.