We will be getting up earlier. Lots earlier.
We will be going to bed earlier. Lots earlier.
We will be spending time apart and cherishing our time together even more.
We will be on more of a schedule.
We will have some extra cash.
I'm excited about some of our changes. And sad about others. I feel good about some things and have lots of anxiety about other things. But all of these changes are going to happen very soon because I have a JOB and I start in August.
I've mentioned before that I never imagined staying at home prior to Morgan Kate's birth. However, due to our circumstances and the way things happened - I did. But I know now that it's time to return to the work force. I wanted whatever I did to be purposeful and meaningful because ultimately it means time away from Morgan Kate. Teaching is that thing. It's purposeful and meaningful to me. Almost three weeks ago I interviewed for a position and shortly after was offered the job. I have been waiting to share my news because I wanted it to be "official". I wanted to have my contact signed. And late last week I signed it. As of August 12th I will be a 5th grade Math and Social Studies teacher.
I'm really excited about returning to the classroom. I'm excited about meeting new people and new students, as I will be at a school that is new for me. I'm excited about teaching and learning. I'm excited about getting my classroom ready and labeling all of my belongings. I'm excited about a classroom full of students ready to learn. I'm excited about getting some adult interaction and conversation. And I'm excited to have a paycheck.
And while I have this excitement I also have a tremendous amount of anxiety. I am so, so very anxious about leaving Morgan Kate. I know she will be in good hands, the BEST hands, but I still don't want to leave her. I have spent the last two years of my life with her every single day and it has been an absolute joy. And it does break my heart to think of leaving her. I'm way more protective of her than I could have ever imagined. So while I know she will be fine, I do worry about how other children will treat her and if others will know exactly what she wants and needs. I'm anxious about "doing it all". I've been a working single gal and I've been a working wife, but never a working wife and mom. There are even days where I feel guilty for leaving her and going back to work. I know these are probably feelings that a lot of women experience. And I know in the end they are fine and their babies are fine. But, this is new for me and I'm still trying to process it all. I'm not really good with change and so this is proving to be a little difficult for me. If I think about it too much I get really overwhelmed and sad. I have to keep reminding myself that it will be good - for both of us. And because I am a teacher I will still have holidays and every summer with her. And you better believe that those holidays and those summers will be completely and totally devoted to her.
Lot of changes are coming our way. And I'm going to try my best to be ready for them.
10 comments:
Congratulations on the job! I went back to teaching last September after being home with Brandon for over a year. I felt the same way as you did prior to going back to work but it really was the best decision for both of us. Brandon did so great at the babysitter and it was nice that he had other children to interact with. He will be going back to the same babysitter again this year since things worked out so well. If you want to talk I am here for you since I went through the same thing a year ago. It does get easier.
congrats!!!!!! that was super fast...i wish they were hiring teachers here in so cal!
MK will do great...and you will have the best job as a working mom...
happy for you!
I will admit that it is hard going back to work. Even if I was only off for 12 weeks. It is a relief to know that our babies are being well taken care of.
The first few days, maybe even a few weeks, will be rough for you and maybe her depending on where she is at. It is an adjustment, but if you feel that it is the best decision for your family, push forward. Think of the extra income you will have and the learning experiences that she will have.
Congrats on the new job and a new phase in your family's life. I can't wait to hear how your time is when you go back.
You will be pleasantly surprised how much you'll enjoy the time away and it makes you cherish the time with family even more. Just leave as early as you can every day and don't take work home if you can help it!! :)
Congratulations and I'm sad you won't be re-joining us. Maybe one day...
Heather, I have enjoyed following your story of MK. It has been years since we played ball and we both went into the teaching profession. I also teach 5th grade math at Edisto Elem. and would be happy to share anything with you. Do not be afraid to ask for any type of assessment for a strand. My school email is loopera@orangeburg4.com Being a wife, mom and working does have its challenges but it is wonderful. You will do fine!
You can do it girl, and on the days you can't lean on your sweet hubby. You also have plenty of working mama friends who would be glad to offer support. MK is going to be just fine, and they are going to love you at OPES. E-mail me if you need ANYTHING! Love you!
Congratulations on the new job! I'm sure it has to be bittersweet. Praying that the transition goes well for all of you!
Congratulations. I am so happy for you.
You have a gift and you are choosing to share it with the rest of the world- God will fill both you and MK with peace of mind- all of your emotions are normal in fact six years later I still can allow myself to be overwhelmed with guilt and sadness-but you find what works for your family and then you realize where ever you are- it's a God thing and He needed you right where He placed you. Congratulations!!
You say everything I am feeling, and you say it better than I could myself. Some moments my stomach churns with anxiety just thinking about leaving my twins. And then just moments later I spin with excitement to get back in to a classroom and in a career I love.
You are so eloquent and honest in your writing. I love it!
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