Morgan Kate

It's no secret. Pregnancy, in general, freaks me out. Makes me a nervous wreck. The minute people tell me their big news I begin to worry. I know it's awful and it's sad and I shouldn't be this way, but I am. I've seen and witnessed and experienced things, some firsthand, that no one should ever have to be a part of and, therefore, pregnancy freaks me out. 


In spring of 2010, only months after my miscarriage, my cousin and her husband lost their precious baby boy at only twenty weeks gestation. It's not something that I've shared openly before and mainly because, well, it's overwhelmingly sad. My heart hurts and aches every single day for them. Despite their enormous loss, their hearts were filled again, just this spring when they found out that they were pregnant again and this time with TWINS! God is so good! And so miraculous. 


Kelly's pregnancy has been progressing so well and each time I see her I just touch and love on her belly. Just this past weekend I was able to feel Baby A and Baby B send me some "love kicks". We were not only able to spend some time together, but we celebrated the twins upcoming birth with a baby shower for Kelly. It was a beautiful shower and the twins truly were showered with so much love and so many, many gifts. 


With all that happiness, came some disappointing news. As of today, Kelly has started dilating and is experiencing some contractions. She has been hospitalized and they are doing all they can do to hold off labor. She will be 29 weeks tomorrow and the twins are both almost three pounds each. We are all praying so hard that the twins are able to grow, grow, grow for a few more weeks. Kelly is an amazing person. She is so much more to me than a cousin, she is more like a sister. We are only nine months apart ourselves and have shared so many happy times. She is one of THE strongest people I have ever known. She has amazing faith and courage and hope and peace. She is so generous and so thoughtful. And those sweet babies are so lucky and blessed to have her as a mom. 

Kelly, me and Ashley

Of course, my heart is breaking. In my heart, I truly believe that the twins will be okay. I really, really do. Kelly has taken such good care of herself and of them. She has made it 29 weeks and they are both a great size, but my heart still hurts. In many ways I know what it's like to be where she is tonight and my heart hurts for her. I know she is scared. I know she is anxious. I know she is terrified. I know she is hurting. I know she wonders why. I know I can't protect her or change things. I know there is really nothing I can do, except pray. And so, I do. I pray and pray and pray. Please pray with me. Pray for this sweet mommy. Pray for her precious hubby. And pray for those two amazing little babies.