Monday, August 3, 2009

August has always been one of my favorite months. The other two are July and December. July because it's our anniversary and beach week. And of course December because I am a Christmas-holic. But I have always loved August. One being that August is my birthday month. Two August falls in the summer, my favorite season. And three because the first day of school falls in August. As an adult and teacher I don't have near the same enthusiasm for the first day of school, but as a child I would get so excited. Reunions with friends, new clothes, the coolest school supplies. I loved August.

This year August feels a little different for me. Of course I am excited because it's my birthday month. And even more excited because it also happens to be Morgan Kate's birthday month. But every day I find myself playing out each day from last August. I think about what we were doing last year on each day of August. I think about how I was preparing for the new school year. I think about how I was dreading the summer being over. I also think about how little I knew in the early days of last August. I had no idea that in just a few short weeks I would begin to dilate. Or be put on bed rest. Have my water break. Be hospitalized. And I especially had no idea that my baby girl would arrive so very early.  

While pregnant I kept a journal in which I would write letters to Morgan Kate. I started the letters very early on - only four days after finding out that we were even pregnant. I would write about our appointments and ultrasounds. I would write about different names and nursery ideas. I also wrote about my excitement and my worries. An excerpt from August 7, 2008 reads:

I have been quite busy preparing for the new school year. We start back in exactly one week. I dread the summer being over, but know that the start of school means your birth day is even closer...Yesterday we went for our 23 week visit and you were moving all around...Your heartbeat was 150 and it was hard to hear at times because you kept kicking...Every day I get more and more anxious to see you and hold you. My prayer continues to be that you keep thriving and growing and arrive late November, early December, a healthy, happy baby. 

Just ten days later I write:

Well baby girl, these last few days have been quite eventful...After a four hour appointment I called your Dad to tell him that I was 1 cm dilated, over 50% effaced and on complete bed rest...I am trying to keep my mind busy, but it keeps thinking of you. I am just hoping and praying that you stay in there and grow for a little longer. I already love you so much and I don't want anything to go wrong. Dr. R would like for you to stay put for at least ten more weeks. I know that God won't give us more than we can handle. 

The very next day my water broke. And seven days after that Morgan Kate arrived. 

Today Morgan Kate is doing exceptionally well. She is doing things that at one time we weren't sure she would ever do. Each day she grows and amazes us. This August she is sitting up and on the verge of crawling. She is eating new foods and moving all over the place. We have been so, so incredibly blessed. But I don't think August will ever be the same for me. I will always think back to August of 2008. I will always play those events over in my mind. I will always remember how little I knew and how scared I was. I will always remember how early she was and what a true miracle she is. The March of Dimes website reads:

The earlier a baby is born, the more likely he is to die. About 20 to 35 percent of babies born at 23 weeks of pregnancy survive, while about 50 to 70 percent of babies born at 24 to 25 weeks, and more than 90 percent born at 26 to 27 weeks, survive . 

I know we/are were a statistic. I know things could have taken a completely different turn. And I will be forever grateful that they didn't. 

So yes, August was one of my favorite months. And it will continue to be one of my favorites. Not only because it's my birthday and Morgan Kate's birthday and because it happens to fall in the summer, but because last August I witnessed a true and absolute miracle and each day I get to see and touch and hold and love that miracle. 


Kathy Hardison said...

Morgan Kate is just that - a beautifully and wonderfully made gift from God. I continue to praise and thank Him each day for the miracle of her life. 24 has always been my favorite number and her birth date falling on that day has made it even more special! LY&MY

Heather said...

Heather-this post was so special to read. This brought back all my feelings that I had when I had my first. She was a preemie (36 weeks), not anything like you experienced but had we waited to induce the following week like planned, she probably wouldn't have made it.

Your MK is a true blessing and a gift from God. Treasure her like no other (You already do) and cherish each day you have with her.

I am looking forward to the birthday bash coming up soon. :)

Sassy said...

Heather I know exactly how you feel! Our little miracle just celebrated her first birthday in July. It's incredible and amazing and makes you wonder why God chose you for such a gift when so many others out there are not so fortunate. We are both very very blessed!


THE SPIVEY"S said...

And what a miracle she is. I can't believe that she is about to turn 1. How time flies.

Melissa and Sam said...

Love this post! I couldn't wait to read just this exact post from you!
Love you and that very precious miracle baby, Morgan Kate!

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic testimony, "pretty girl". Morgan Kate is truly a miracle and God's blessing. He is such a gracious and awesome God, and His love blesses that precious little angel each and every day.Glory be to God!

May August always be one of the best months of your life.
love ya more, mj

jan kessler said...

August is an awesome month. MK is an awesome baby girl and loved by so many. She is strong and courageous. I wonder what she was thinking last August during all this time. I am sure she said this is My Mommy and Daddy and My family that I am being born into. WOW!!!!What an AWESOME FAMILY that love me so much especially My Mommy and Daddy. They are so special. The immediate family and the extended family began to pray for this little miracle. I felt so strong when I began to pray after Travis called us that God is in the Miracle Busines and everything was going to be miraculous. Was very selective of who I asked to pray, because I wanted no negative thoughts and when someone would say something negative I would immediately say no negative thoughts will enter her room her heart or mind and when I saw her for the first time it was truly amazing and knew that everything was going to be alright. August is a special month for so many reasons.

Love you guys,

Aunt J