Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Monday afternoon Morgan Kate had an appointment with the pediatric opthamologist. We spent over two hours there. Actually, let me rephrase that. We waited for two hours to be seen and then were seen for about five minutes. No lie. Thankfully the people there were super nice and I love the doctor. 

We began seeing Dr. C shortly after MK was discharged from the NICU. In the beginning our appointments were three months apart, then six months and finally a year apart. We found out Monday that we are completely finished with the pediatric opthamologist. At this point her eyes look terrific and there doesn't appear to be any problems with her vision. In many, many cases premature babies deal with some short of vision impairment. We have been so blessed and so fortunate to get good reports at each visit. She will only need to have her eyes checked again if we have concerns or feel the need for it. 

It felt so good to cross one more doctor off of our list! Don't get me wrong, I love all of MK's doctors and they have all been so good to us, but it feels so good to get a good report and then be discharged.

Speaking of doctors and medical stuff.

Just the other night it occurred to me that this will be MK's first cold and flu season without RSV shots. At first I was thrilled. The first year of shots wasn't too bad. But, last year she was old enough to know what was going on and those "shot days" were tough. So, I was looking forward to no shots, no pain and no tears. Then in just a matter of minutes my excitement turned to pure  terror. Although I am glad she doesn't have to get shots, I am a nervous wreck about keeping her healthy. The last few weeks she has had a constant runny nose. I've been okay with the runny nose, but today the runny nose turned into a hoarse voice and slight cough. Those things frighten me.

Even two years later there are still so many things I worry about when it comes to her health. I know and remember all too well just how fragile her little lungs were. I vividly remember the days of the CPAP and cannula. I will never forget bringing her home on oxygen and keeping her away from everything and everyone. Every single time I visit a doctor's office I remember the first six months of appointments and how I would keep MK in the car until they called our names because I didn't want her to "catch" anything while waiting inside. I was afraid then. I was afraid of her getting sick. I was afraid of her being hospitalized again. And as difficult as it is to admit, I was afraid of losing her. 

Sometimes, I'm still so afraid. 


Jason and Talyse said...

I'm still afraid a lot! If it makes you feel any better, mine didn't get the RSV shots last year and they were fine, so I know MK will stay healthy! I'll be praying for you both!

Great news from Dr. C! We go back to him in December, so we're praying for more good results too!

Anthony and Ashleys Mommy said...

I remember the first cold Anthony got (after he was 2) I was afraid also. But then I saw how well he did with it. And he did well with the second cold. Then after I had Ashley they both got croup! this was the toughest of the colds I had faced and while it took him awhile to get over it, he did great! I used his xeophenex when I thought it would help, but didn't go nuts with it. Then 2 weeks ago Anthony got sick. He was acting like he was going to throw up. But a couple hours later the nose started running and would you believe I was RELIEVED it was a cold and not a stomach flu? My how i've changed! lol

Do I have a point? lol I think after you see your child go through a few colds, and they do fine with them, the fear starts to go away. I would of never imagined 3 years ago that I would feel this way.