Sunday, July 24, 2011

Dear Morgan Kate,

Today is the first day of your last month as a two year old. Next month this time you will be our three year old. It doesn't seem possible that you will be three. Three years seems like a long time when thinking about school or careers or time apart, but your three little years have literally happened in what seems like a blink of the eye. Lightning fast. 

I remember when you were in the hospital and even when you first came home, I longed for the day you would turn three. I'm not sure what I really thought three would mean for me. I guess three seemed so far away and I thought that by the age of three, we would all be okay. You'd be okay and I'd be okay. And I wouldn't have to worry about things. And we are okay. We're more than okay. You are perfect and growing and changing and doing so many things. It's mind blowing. And I don't have to worry about things like oxygen cannulas and apnea monitors. I don't have to worry about inserting a feeding tube and reflux meds. I don't have to worry about countless doctor's appointments and therapies. But, I still worry. A lot. Just about different things now and sometimes some of the same things. And I'm so glad we are past all of that other worrying, but I do wish time would slow down. Now that the time is actually here, I don't want you to be three already. Tonight I was trying to think of ways that you were still a baby. Because I desperately still want you to be one. The only two things I could think of were, one - you still love to be rocked before bed and two - you still wear a diaper. I can't think of anything else. And those things don't necessarily make you a baby. In almost every other way you are a big girl. An almost three year old. 

There are several things I want to remember about right now.  
1. Whenever you tell us you love us, we ask you how much and you say, "Too big."
2. You fall asleep every single time we get on the boat or the four wheeler. Your favorite spot on the boat is the seat right up front and you always ask for a towel. I know that's just code for, "I'm ready to take a nap."
3. You fake cry sometimes and when we ask, "Are you faking?", you just laugh.
4. You have the most vivid imagination. You of course have your pretend friend, Dabba. You always want to pretend to be the baby or the mommy. You love pretending to bake things or make things. 
5. Anything scary is a "monsta". I have no clue where you got this because we don't talk about monsters in this house.

I love you so much, baby girl. So much so that my heart could just burst. While I'm sad about this last month of your twos, I'm also happy and excited for what your threes will hold. I have heard though, that the threes aren't so kind. I'm praying that's not the case for us, but with your strong personality, I'm guessing it might be. Either way, it's perfectly fine, because even a hard day with you is a good day in my book. 

Love you my almost three year old,


jan kessler said...

The miracle baby is almost three. Wow! God is good. She is so special and very loving and cant wait to see the pictures from the beach. Cant wait to see you guys again.

Aunt Jan

Anonymous said...

Hey! I can't believe she is almost 3! That means my 3 will be 3 soon too! I stopped by the NICU this weekend to say hey and thought about you and our miracles!
Jennifer Clary :)

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

I can't believe she's going to be 3! She looks so grown up!