Morgan Kate

I'm going to blame my lack of blogging on the fact that my hubby has been home for two weeks. And it has been the best two weeks. No it's not paid time off, nor is it vacation. Unfortunately, he's been on a two week layoff and there are still two more weeks yet to come later this year. Fortunately, it's not a permanent layoff. While it may not exactly be great for the wallet, it has been so wonderful for us. I love having him home. Morgan Kate loves having home. And the dogs love having him home. We have had some really nice relaxing days, coming and going as we please. Typically he puts MK down for bed and I am up with her in the mornings. However, for the past two weeks I have been putting her down which gives me some great snuggle time and he has been getting up with her. He loves the mornings with her and I love any chance to sleep in a little. And I love the eggs and bacon he likes to cook. I am absolutely dreading next week when he has to return to work. Don't get me wrong - I am thankful he has a job, very thankful! But I do love having all my family at home.

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I have been wanting to blog about Morgan Kate's therapy for quite some time, but just haven't found the right words. I still don't know if I have the exact ones I want to use, but it's something I want to write about.

MK has been receiving early intervention services since February. We have been very pleased with all her therapy and therapists and we still are. I know that this intervention is crucial and very much needed. I know that plenty of children and adults receive therapy in some sort or fashion. I am was am a teacher and I have sat in on numerous IEP meetings and either helped or requested that a child receive certain services. I guess I just never thought or even imagined that my own child might need those very same services one day. It's not that I am embarrassed or ashamed or disappointed BY. ANY. MEANS. I am so proud of Morgan Kate. I am so proud to be her mommy and to call her my daughter. In just her one short year she has done and accomplished so many extraordinary things. She has been through and conquered more in her little life than I will ever do. She is simply amazing.

It's just that I hate seeing her struggle. I don't want her to struggle. I don't want her to have any delays. I don't want anything to be hard for her. Hopefully, these are normal mommy feelings. And while I don't want anything to be hard, or anyone to hurt her feelings or break her heart, I know it's inevitable. I know some of these things are going to occur and maybe more than I like.

Back in February we only had an appointment once a week. The appointment was with our early interventionist and it lasted for an hour. I was okay with this. Perfectly content. Matter of fact, I was thrilled that MK was receiving these services. She's a preemie. She was early. This was something she needed. Then in April we added physical therapy. Two appointments a week. No problem. Again, I was okay with this. Late May, early June we added occupational therapy. Three appointments a week. This was a little harder to take. I can't really explain why this was harder. I guess it just felt like she was needing more and more. And I was hoping that she would need less and less.

Last week we had her six month assessment (since we have been receiving services for 6 months). There were so many areas where she had improved drastically. She had even met all of the goals we first set. In several areas she was right on track for her age. All of these were cause for celebration. She has made leaps and bounds in her progress. But then there were other areas where there were delays. Of course there are delays in gross motor (crawling, walking, etc.) and some in fine motor (turning the page of a book, poking at things, etc.). I knew these things and expected them. And I also know that these things are going to come. She's going to do them. But there were new delays. Delays that we didn't see in the beginning. Well, it's not that we didn't see them in the beginning, it's that we weren't looking for them or "testing" them. One specific delay being communication. MK makes noises and kinda sorta babbles, but she doesn't make any consonant sounds and she doesn't say any words. The delay was enough for her to qualify for a speech evaluation. If the speech therapist conducting the evaluation sees or finds the same delays then she will qualify for yet another therapy. Four appointments a week. Again, I am glad that these services are available and that MK can begin receiving them so early. But it was a blow. The kind of blow that makes knots in your stomach. I. JUST. DON'T. WANT. ANYTHING. TO. BE. HARD. FOR. HER. Plain and simple.

So while some of this is hard to accept. And some of this makes knots in my stomach. And some of it breaks my heart. I know it is something that we need. Something that we must do. And in the next six months we will look back and see that she has accomplished the new goals we have set and she will again have made tremendous progress. And that's the part that makes this all a little easier.