Morgan Kate

Summer has always been my favorite season. I love the hot weather. I love the green, green trees. I love wearing tank tops and flip flops. I love being able to swim and go to the lake or the beach. I love spending summer evenings sitting on my front porch and chatting with neighbors. To put it simple, I love the summer.

But this year it's different. This year I have been looking forward to the fall. Longing for the fall. The last few weeks the weather here has been quite "fallish" and I have been so giddy. I could sit outside all day and look at the blue fall sky. It's so blue and so clear. I love the cool crisp mornings and nights. And I am even excited about the trees changing colors. I have even already hung my fall door decoration and purchased two fall mums.

At first I couldn't figure it out. I wasn't sure why I was so anxious for the fall. But now it makes perfect sense. Last year we didn't have a fall. Yes, the season came. And the season went. Yes, the leaves fell and changed colors. Football season started and football season ended. Yes, children dressed in Halloween costumes and went door to door. But not us. We didn't really experience fall last year. We were just really beginning our long stay in the NICU. We started our stay in the summer and left in the winter. Anything that happened in between was lost. We watched the trees change colors from Morgan Kate's window. We watched numerous football games from the small green couch in her room. When Halloween rolled around we dressed her in a preemie size pumpkin onesie and I wore my spider shirt to the hospital. For us, fall didn't take place. Or that's how it seemed.

There was a big window in Morgan Kate's room. I remember looking out of that window each day. There was this one particular tree. I looked at that tree often. When we first arrived in late August the tree was full and a beautiful green. By early October the leaves on that same had turned amber and orange and purple. And then by the time we left in early December the tree was almost completely bare. It was a sign of changing times, changing seasons. It was really the only thing or object that helped us realize that seasons were changing and time was moving on.

I'm so anxious for this fall. I simply cannot wait. Of course I am ready for the leaves to change and the weather to turn cooler. And I am excited about football season. But more importantly because this fall we are at home. This fall we are here and experiencing each day with our precious, happy and healthy baby girl. I will always remember and cherish this fall.