Dear Morgan Kate,
Today you are thirty-four months old. In just two short months you will be three years old. Time please be still. I cannot even fathom that you are going to be three years old. But, before I go shedding massive amounts of tears and crying hysterically about that fact, I'm just going to stop. We can save all of that drama for August. Right now I want to focus on you still being only two years and ten months. I also want to focus on some of the amazing and not so amazing things (like screaming at bedtime) you are doing at two years and ten months.
You are wearing mostly 2T clothes, although today you easily got into an 18 month pair of shorts. The last time we had you weighed, right before the end of school, you were 24 pounds. Your shoe size varies, we have fives, sixes and even one seven. The seven is crazy big, but the six in that same shoe seemed so small. Your hair is finally growing. It's so soft and sweet and your bows are staying in a little better. You are wearing a size 5 diaper and yes, still mostly diapers. You'll use your potty only when you feel like using it. It doesn't matter what I say or what I offer you. Kaka and I have even tried bribing you with money and you could care less. You know when you are going and when you are you say, "No get me Mommy". So I always know you are going, but you run like crazy and then just end up doing your business in your pants. I have seriously considered quitting this whole potty training business several times now, but for some reason I keep trying. Not sure how much longer that is going to last. You are eating so well, again, when you feel like it. Some days you eat a ton and other days you eat like a bird. You will try anything at least once and you like a variety of foods. Your favorites are yogurt, any kind of fruit, veggies, mushrooms, cheese, pizza, boiled peanuts, fries and nuggets and you really like shrimp. You've also really been loving some turkey sandwiches lately, too. Oh, and you love things like butter, mayonnaise and sour cream. I could throw up watching you eat it, but you love it. Your favorite drinks are still milk, apple juice (you call it appee juice) and water. You like swimming, but you don't love it and you are still really fearful of the water which is perfectly fine with me. You still love to dance and you love music, and any kind of music. You always ask for "mommy's song" or "daddy's song". You love playing outdoors and you adore Dora, Caillou and Ruby & Max (you say Max and Woobi). You are really into band-aids right now and I find them everywhere. Some times you actually put them on your body, but mostly you stick them on the bathtub, the cabinets, the floor and the fridge. I know a lot of people would peel them off and throw them away, but I don't. I love walking around the house and seeing little pieces of you. You love Cash and Lola, especially Cash. You follow him around and hug him and lay on him. You've even nicknamed him "Cashie". You are just talking up a storm. You make complete sentences all of the time and you are asking questions. Some of the things that come out of your mouth just crack me up. Just today I opened the dryer only to find that I had dried all white clothes with a purple crayon. In the assortment of clothes were a pair of your pjs. The minute I opened the dryer door you put your hand on your hip and said, "Oh, gracious. Look at my jammies." I thought I was going to die. It was the cutest thing ever. Before bed you tell me "Four more seconds" and when I catch you yawning, you look at me and say, "No sleepy mommy, I wanna play." You are also saying words that I consider kind of big words, like gracious and backwards. You tell Daddy and I that you love us all of the time and you give us the biggest hugs. You're a pretty social little girl. It takes you a little while to warm up, but once you do, you are good to go.
Right now, most everything you do is amazing, but let me share one thing with you that is not so amazing. This bedtime stuff. I'm not sure where it all came from and maybe I have myself to blame. Since the start of the summer you have been a bear at night and at nap time. Nap time and bedtime used to be pretty easy. When it was time for a nap, I just put you down in the crib. Some days you would whimper for a second or two, but most days you would just turn over and go to sleep. These days you don't whimper, you scream and for probably a good ten minutes or so. Maybe longer. I'm sure for some that doesn't seem like a long time, but it seems like an eternity to me because you've never done it, therefore, I'm not used to it. And bedtime. Oh. My. Goodness. It is awful. Just seconds after your bath you start with, "No night-night, No, night-night." We let you watch cartoons, we read books, we sing songs, we rock. Still, you are not happy. When I finally do put you in the crib you stand straight up and scream this scream that literally sends chills up and down my spine. It's awful. It's painful. It's heartbreaking. You scream and cry some nights for thirty minutes, some nights for fifteen. Just the other night you cried for almost two hours. You are killing me. I don't know what to do. You come up with all sorts of excuses - Mommy, there is a fly on my pillow. Mommy, there is an ant in my rocking chair. Mommy, I'm too cold. Mommy, rain scares me. Mommy, storms scare me. It was kind of funny and cute at first, but it's not anymore. I don't mind reading or singing or rocking you one bit. I would sing to you forever. You are the only person in this whole entire world that says "More" when I finish a song. I just don't want you to be afraid and I don't want you to hate bedtime. It's really not so bad. It makes you feel rested so that you can do more fun things the next day. I'm praying and hoping and wishing that this is just a phase and that you grow out of it. As soon as possible.
I love you so much, sweet girl. You are the absolute light of my life and I feel like the luckiest person in the world because you are mine. Your Daddy and I are so proud of you and we love you to the moon and back. Now, work on the bedtime stuff. For real.
Love you muches,