I'm sitting on my couch trying to gather my thoughts in order to write about our family trip this past weekend. However, rather than gathering my thoughts, I am listening to my daughter scream. At. The. Top. Of. Her. Lungs. I'm trying to drown it out with Law and Order LA, but it's not working. This has been my life for the past two weeks.
Morgan Kate has always been a great sleeper and never really had a problem going to bed. When she was an infant we rocked her to sleep and more recently we have just rocked for a few minutes and put her down while still wide awake. She is able to soothe herself and drift off to dreamland. All of that changed about two weeks ago. The beginning of summer. Granted her schedule is completely different. She's staying up later at night and sleeping later in the mornings and maybe those things aren't really such a great idea. They seem like a fantastic idea when I'm able to sleep in until nine or so each morning. But when it's 10:20 at night and my child is still not asleep, it doesn't seem like such a great idea anymore. Instead of reading a book, singing a few songs and putting her down to get some shut eye, bedtime goes more like this lately:
Me: Morgan Kate, five more minutes until bedtime.
Five minutes pass.
Me: Morgan Kate, it's time for bed.
MK: Four more seconds, mommy.
Me: Ok, four more seconds and then it's really bedtime.
Five MINUTES pass. (Don't ask me where she gets the four second stuff. I crack up everytime I hear it.)
Me: Ok, it's really bedtime. Let's go.
She goes willingly. Some nights. We read a book, sing numerous songs and say our prayers. I stand up from the rocking chair to put her in her crib and she clings to my body with every ounce of her being.
MK: Rock mommy, rock. Four more seconds.
Me: MK, it's time for bed. We have a lot planned tomorrow and you have to get your sleep. Lay down and let me cover you up.
She lays down, I cover her up, head for the door as she stands up and begins screaming. At. The. Top. Of. Her. Lungs.
MK: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Come back! Mommy!
A few nights she has worked it out herself. A few nights Trav and I have both gone in and tried to settle her down. Tonight he's been in twice and I've been in once.
It's gutwrenching. Heartbreaking. She's so stinkin' sweet and I just want to run in and scoop her up and bring her to bed with us, but I know that's not a good idea. She'll expect that every night and well, then her daddy and I would never get any time together and that's not a good thing either. And it's not just bedtime. In the past two weeks she's probably slept the entire night in her crib three, maybe four nights. Every morning around four or so she wakes up screaming. I should probably let her cry it out, but I don't. One of us always pops up, runs to get her and she comes to bed with us. The minute she's in our bed, she's out and she sleeps for forever. Naptime has also become quite the chore. She doesn't fight it quite as hard at bedtime, but she still fusses and argues and cries for quite some time.
Along with this whole "I don't want to go to bed thing", she's developed this fear of everything. My little bug lover is now afraid of every bug imagineable, especially flies. It didn't help that there was one in her room last week and it woke her up from her nap. Let's just say she freaked out. She's terrified of storms and rain and any loud noises. Things that have never bothered her before, terrify her now. It's bizarre.
I'm hoping and praying and hoping and praying that this too shall pass. That this is just a phase and that if we can be strong and resist our urge to run and get her, then my easy bedtime girl will return. I can't handle this screaming stuff. It's hard on my heart.