August brings with it so many emotions. If you have read this blog for any amount time, you will know that August always brings forth many emotions and I talk about it every August. During this hot, summer month I turn another year older which could make anyone emotional. School starts back and I must return to work, which brings much excitement and anticipation, but also some sadness as I hate to see the summer end and my days with Morgan Kate come to a close. But more than any of that, my baby turns a year older and that brings forth emotions and feelings that take me back to August of 2008. When my baby girl was born 15 weeks early at only 25 weeks and 4 days gestation, weighing only one pound and twelve ounces. The month of August brings such a mixture of feelings. One minute fear and anxiety, another minute pride and admiration. In the next instance amazement and astonishment and in another sadness and guilt. It can be quite overwhelming. I find myself replaying every day and every event that led up to Morgan Kate's birth. August 14th, a Thursday in 2008, was the day I found out I was dilated and 50% effaced. August 18, a Monday, was the day my membranes ruptured and I was admitted to the hospital for the duration of the pregnancy. And then August 24, a Sunday, when my placenta ruptured and Morgan Kate made her grand entrance at 1:04pm.
Today is August 18th. And while I have lots of things going on in this head of mine that pertain to MK's birth and hospital stay and just all the things she had to endure, I'm also thinking about some other special children. Children that I will have the pleasure and responsibility of teaching this school year. Today is their first day of school. And I know they are anxious and excited and jittery with emotions. But so am I. I want to be the best teacher I can be. I want them to learn. I want them to grow. I want them to become wonderful writers and readers and mathematicians and historians. I want them to feel loved and valued and appreciated. I think I've always been a pretty decent teacher, but since having Morgan Kate and returning to work, I think I am a much better teacher or at least I strive to be. I imagine her in a classroom. I imagine what I would want for her. What I would want her to learn and experience. And how I would want her teacher to treat her. I would want many things, but two things especially. I would want her to LEARN and I would want her to feel LOVED. And those are the two things I want to give my new students today and this entire school year.
Thank you, Morgan Kate. Thank you for making me a better person and a better teacher.
Welcome to the 2011-2012 school year! I'm ready for you! (I think.)
3 comments:
It is crazy how having children makes you strive to be an even better teacher. We've always tried to be the best we can be, but now it takes on a whole new meaning. The 5th graders walking into your classroom today are so lucky! I love you and hope you had a wonderful first day!
XOXO,
Jessa
I'm sure August is a very bittersweet month for you. I loved how you wrote about how having a child makes you a better teacher. I'm sure you're a fantastic teacher. Have a great school year!
Happy Be-lated Birthday to you! You are right with the start of school starting back, it becomes a little crazy around here. My mind is in a million places...wife, mother, sister, daughter, teacher, co-worker, friend, etc. How do you keep them all together?
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