Thursday, September 1, 2011

Today was the day.
My baby, my teeny-tiny baby, started school. Just the first of very many school years to come.
 It was such an exciting and happy day.
And some of you will be shocked. I didn't shed one tear. Not a single one. I'm still pretty amazed with myself. And I'm still trying to figure it out. I realize I should just go with it and not worry or think too much about why I didn't cry or become emotional, but as usual, I analyze everything. And here's what I've come up with. My current thinking, that could possibly change at any given time. Here goes. With most of MK's milestones - learning to crawl, walking, giving up the bottle, using the potty (she's been working hard), leaving me for the first time, etc. - I have thought of them as endings of things rather than new beginnings. While I was excited for her to crawl, I was sad she wasn't that tiny little baby that would just hang out wherever I put her. When she gave up the bottle I was thrilled I didn't have to wash anymore, but I was sad that I wouldn't get to watch her take her bottle in such contentment. When I left her for the first time with Roddey, my heart was so full and so excited about where she would be and most importantly who she would be with, but I was also sad that my stay at home days were ending. With most change in my life I see things as endings rather than a new start. Is this making any sense? But today, nothing was ending. She's still my three year old little girl, she's still with Roddey, I still go to work each day. So rather than mourn the ending of something, I could truly appreciate the beginning of something. And I've decided that I have really got to start living more of my life like that. Rather than being down in the dumps every Sunday afternoon about returning to the work week, I should be excited about what the new week might hold. Instead of being sad about my baby no longer needing diapers one day (I'm crazy, right?), I should look forward to what "potty independence" might mean for all of us. I apologize if this makes no sense at all - it makes perfect sense in my head. Really.
Anyway, I didn't shed a tear and Morgan Kate didn't really either. She got a tiny bit teary-eyed as I was leaving, but two seconds later she was fine. And I totally appreciate that she at least gave me a tear or two. 
Roddey met me there with Morgan Kate and I was able to walk in with them. In was such a huge blessing and having Roddey there with me did make it much easier. She's such a calming force. I wish I could take her everywhere with me. Ha!
Morgan Kate was just all smiles the entire morning and it made this momma smile.
During her first day at preschool she got to decorate cookies. How awesome is that? Who doesn't appreciate food, especially cookies?
It was a memorable day for sure and I couldn't be happier! Thanks for all the prayers, support and encouraging words. MK is already asking about when she goes back!


Kelly Lee said...

I think your post makes perfect sense. I thought about you guys all day and I'm so glad it went so well. She is beautiful just like her mommy and I love seeing both of you smiling. You are truly blessed to have Roddy in your life and MK's. Thanks for sharing the day with us. Love you

Anonymous said...

You make tons of sense :) Too bad I was the one crying this time...are they really old enough to go to school? The pictures are precious. So glad MK had a great first day. Love that AP and MK are only 2 doors down from each other :)


Elizabeth said...

I analyze everything too! I need to start thinking they way you do. :) Morgan Kate is adorable!

CAW said...

i love the picture of you holding her. just beautiful!

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

Oh my goodness, what a big girl! How exciting!