Friday, August 21, 2009

The mind is such a strange thing. Isn't it crazy the things you just can't remember no matter how hard you try? Yet, there are other things that are etched in your mind forever.

I have like fifty little scraps of paper lying around with "To Do" lists on them because if I don't write it down then I will forget. As I get older it's harder to remember birthdays and special events. I always forget things while grocery shopping. I can barely remember what I got for Christmas. There are many, many things that just slip my mind.

And then there are those things that I just can't forget. Things that I will always remember. I will always remember the day I left for college. I still remember that I wore jeans and a black and gray tank top. I also cried most of the day because I didn't want my parents to leave. I remember my wedding day like it was yesterday. I remember the song I listened to on the way to the church. I can still see the words on the page of the letter that Travis wrote to me. I can also still remember the way the leftover shrimp in our "get away basket" smelled the next day.

And then there's last August. I know I have referred to that month more than once, but it's crazy the things that I remember and the things that constantly pop in my head. I remember what I was wearing the night my water broke - black pants and a navy blue long sleeve t-shirt. Not sure why I was wearing an outfit that completely didn't match, but I remember it none the less. I remember the look on Travis' face. I remember being really out of it after all the meds and not really knowing where I was. I remember waking up the first morning in the hospital and seeing Travis asleep in a chair and my mom asleep with her head on the "Soiled Laundry" basket. I still remember the smell of my fluid leaking all week. I remember the terrible stomach ache I had the night before MK was born. I can still feel that pain. I still clearly remember the day she was born and how all of those events unfolded. I remember waking up for the first time that day and seeing Travis right there by my side. And I remember how my heart melted, yet broke at the same time, the moment I saw her.

While at times it's hard to relive those moments and it's hard to have all those memories, I pray that my mind is still that clear about this time in my life, this August. I want to remember everything Morgan Kate does and says. This is such an amazing time and I just want to soak it all up. I want to remember the way her little head smells after a bath. I want to remember the way she rubs her nose on my shoulder when she's sleepy. I want to remember the way she smiles and lights up when I begin to sing. I want to remember the way being a mommy to a baby feels. I want to remember what it feels like to have her little fingers brush my face. I want to remember her little coos and sounds and squeals. I even want to remember those sleepless nights where I was up three or four times. I want to remember those nights where I just had to rock and sing and rock. I want to remember everything about her. I want to remember everything about these days and this time of my life. Because this is definitely the best time of my life.


Heather said...

Heather this post is so special. I think that being a mommy makes your brain remember the most important things and lets go of the others. I have times where I don't remember things that others remember but I can remember all the little things about my babies.

Kara Corbett said...

It was so good to see you guys yesterday!!! Morgan Kate is getting so big!!!