Morgan Kate

The mind is such a strange thing. Isn't it crazy the things you just can't remember no matter how hard you try? Yet, there are other things that are etched in your mind forever.

I have like fifty little scraps of paper lying around with "To Do" lists on them because if I don't write it down then I will forget. As I get older it's harder to remember birthdays and special events. I always forget things while grocery shopping. I can barely remember what I got for Christmas. There are many, many things that just slip my mind.

And then there are those things that I just can't forget. Things that I will always remember. I will always remember the day I left for college. I still remember that I wore jeans and a black and gray tank top. I also cried most of the day because I didn't want my parents to leave. I remember my wedding day like it was yesterday. I remember the song I listened to on the way to the church. I can still see the words on the page of the letter that Travis wrote to me. I can also still remember the way the leftover shrimp in our "get away basket" smelled the next day.

And then there's last August. I know I have referred to that month more than once, but it's crazy the things that I remember and the things that constantly pop in my head. I remember what I was wearing the night my water broke - black pants and a navy blue long sleeve t-shirt. Not sure why I was wearing an outfit that completely didn't match, but I remember it none the less. I remember the look on Travis' face. I remember being really out of it after all the meds and not really knowing where I was. I remember waking up the first morning in the hospital and seeing Travis asleep in a chair and my mom asleep with her head on the "Soiled Laundry" basket. I still remember the smell of my fluid leaking all week. I remember the terrible stomach ache I had the night before MK was born. I can still feel that pain. I still clearly remember the day she was born and how all of those events unfolded. I remember waking up for the first time that day and seeing Travis right there by my side. And I remember how my heart melted, yet broke at the same time, the moment I saw her.

While at times it's hard to relive those moments and it's hard to have all those memories, I pray that my mind is still that clear about this time in my life, this August. I want to remember everything Morgan Kate does and says. This is such an amazing time and I just want to soak it all up. I want to remember the way her little head smells after a bath. I want to remember the way she rubs her nose on my shoulder when she's sleepy. I want to remember the way she smiles and lights up when I begin to sing. I want to remember the way being a mommy to a baby feels. I want to remember what it feels like to have her little fingers brush my face. I want to remember her little coos and sounds and squeals. I even want to remember those sleepless nights where I was up three or four times. I want to remember those nights where I just had to rock and sing and rock. I want to remember everything about her. I want to remember everything about these days and this time of my life. Because this is definitely the best time of my life.