Thursday, December 3, 2009

Last December 3rd I felt kind of cheated. I know it sounds terrible to say. But it's the truth. I felt cheated. I felt sad. I was kind of angry.

You see, last December 3rd Morgan Kate should have been making her grand entrance into this world. My entire family would have been gathered at the hospital, anxiously awaiting her arrival. I would have been lying in a bed, munching on some ice. I would have been so excited, yet so very nervous. Travis would have been pacing the floor and constantly checking on me. He would have had a smile you could see for miles. My mom would have been running between my room and the waiting room giving updates. She too would have had a pretty big smile. My dad and brothers would have been in the waiting room trying to entertain other family members and probably doing a lot of snacking. They love to snack. Other family members and friends would have either been there too or texting/calling.

Morgan Kate would have made her entrance. Travis and my mom would have been able to attend the birth. Someone would have stuck a big pink bow on my door. MK would have been a good weight, not needed oxygen and probably begun eating right away. I would have been able to hold her the second she arrived. I would have been able to look into her eyes and kiss her little chubby cheeks. I would have been able to share her with everyone. But instead probably kept her to myself. Travis would have been able to kiss us both and then pass out those bubble gum cigars that everyone loves. They would have taken her to those glass windows for all to see. And I would have been able to take her home just a few days later.

But, that's not how it happened. Not at all. And while I felt cheated, and sad, and angry last year on December 3rd. That's not how I feel today. Not at all.

Today I feel so lucky. I feel so lucky to have had my daughter here for 15 months. I feel so blessed. So blessed to have this beautiful daughter who does amazing things each and every day. And I feel so fortunate we are all home and we are all doing so well, especially Miss Morgan Kate.

Yes, I have experienced some things that other parents won't. And I pray they never do. And yes, it was most difficult at first and there were days that I didn't know how I would make it. And there are still days that I am scared. Scared for her health and her development. (But I feel sure that it is something all parents feel.) But, today I'm okay. We're okay. And I don't feel the same as I felt last year.

Since Morgan Kate's birth I have learned so much. So much about different things and so much about myself. I feel that I am different. My heart is different. But in a good way. I look at things in a completely different light. I don't take things for granted. And I try to cherish every moment and every day.

Especially each day that I am given with Morgan Kate.


Sherry Pyle said...

Heather i am so happy for you!!
Morgan kate is truly a gift from God.
i know or can only imagine how hard this past year was.
It does seem to me that every day and each child has something different to teach us about ourselves.
I only pray to learn my lessons well and where I have failed (and God knows I have at times) for God's Grace to hide the flaws.
Being a mom is such a great blessing. And oh being a Grandmother is something too.
I am so glad you are enjoying your little one.
Thanks for sharing her with us.

Kathy Hardison said...

The way MK came into the world has truly made me a different person. I don't take full term babies for granted any more and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, God performs miracles...she is living proof. Her birth allowed me to draw on my faith and truly "walk the walk" of believing! Love you all 3 of you!

Anonymous said...

Your post hits home with me too. I felt cheated and missed so many things on Luke's birthday...but it makes you more greatful and it truly allows you to lean on the Lord.

Liz and Tony Mitchum said...

Heather - you made me cry! So sweet, I didn't want to bring it up but I thought about her due date yesterday too - I am so happy that MK is doing so great and is so happy! You are a great mommy! I look up to you and am proud to have you as my friend!
Love you.

THE SPIVEY"S said...

Hey there. I know that with each year things will get better and better. I can't imagine what it was like last year and I will not begin to pretend that I do. However, MK is truly a Gift from God that we all have experienced with you because of this wonderful blog. Thank you for that. You and MK have certainly taught us many things about our wonderful Lord and Savior. He is powerful, holy, and does amazing things and we saw and see that daily with his mighty touch through MK. What a blessing.

I do have a question for you. Hollie and I are teaching parents on Family Literacy night about family blogging. I was wondering how you make your signature at the bottom of your post with the cute pictures? That would be something cute and fun to share with them. Thanks girl.

God Bless and Merry Christams!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful are such a wonderful writer- must have helped when you were teaching 4th graders language arts :) I know Morgan Kate's birth and your family's strength has effected numerous people's faith. Morgan Kate is a gorgeous little girl and I feel blessed to know her and you. We have so many things to be thankful for. Love yall!


Sarah said...

Don't know how I found you, but your stories, especially THIS post, hit so close to home it almost took the wind out of me. Your daughter is a beauty - you are so blessed.